Give me strength

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Oh dear.

I know, OK? I know. I know I said yesterday that week 3 was over. But I lied!

I also know that strength and conditioning is sensible. Hell, I know it makes sense to do strength stuff just generally – especially as you get older. Tons of benefits. I know I should do it. So, today, I started doing it.

Sunday: Strength supersets

When I told Runna to throw “S and C” at me on Sundays, it asked me what level of experience I have with this kind of exercise (very little) and what equipment I have (just dumbbells). It promised to conjure up a suitable workout, and here was the first one.

Warm-up

2 sets of:

• side lunges
• press up position walk out
• walking lunge
• press up position diagonal toe tap

Well, shit. I mean OK, I can do side lunges, and just about the walk out (can’t start anything like touching my toes though). Walking lunge, probably didn’t do it right because I don’t have tons of space. Interesting to do lunges while holding weights though.

Press up position diagonal toe tap. I’m sorry what now? Just how bloody lithe does Runna think I’m starting at? Ludicrous. As ludicrous as thinking I could start the walk out with straight legs.

Part 1

2 sets of:

• single leg isometric hamstring holds
• tricep dips

Well this was a fucking disaster. So much for “no equipment”, you absolutely need something to rest your legs on for the former, and arms for the latter, and I have nothing suitable. I got a step out from the cupboard thinking it might work for the triceps, but it was worse than attempting it on the floor. Don’t think I got any benefit from these things, only frustration.

Part 2

2 sets of:

• single leg calf raise
• standing double arm shoulder press

Nope. Can’t do single leg calf raises. I’m not doing this stuff on a pavement where I can hang my heel off the kerb, I’m doing it in my house for gods sake. Tried it with the step and it was no use whatsoever, especially doing it single leg - that just made me lose balance immediately. Can’t see how I would’ve done it even on a kerb. Disastrous. So I just kinda stood repeatedly on tip toes instead. Meh. Nonsense.

At least I can lift dumbbells over my head.

Part 3

2 sets of:

• Rear leg raised lunge
• Single arm clean and press

The step worked OK-ish for the lunge. And as before, I can definitely lift dumbbells up, even off the floor. The only set that didn’t make me feel really depressed.

Part 4

2 sets of:

• Press ups
• Hamstring walk out

So Runna thinks I can do 8-10 press ups. Well, I’ve got news for you, I can barely do 2. Tried them off my knees, which felt like it had zero benefit.

Hamstring walk out was interesting. I think maybe I did it correct, and I definitely felt my hamstrings. In fact at this point I was on the verge of upset with Runna, after 2 weeks of setting me challenging runs which I have done successfully, for making me feel utterly rotten and useless. I became briefly convinced I would actually damage my hamstrings, have one snap and thus be unable to run. Mercifully that didn’t happen.

Part 5

2 sets of:

• Russian twist
• Side plank leg raise

Russian twist is fine. I can throw a dumbbell from side to side, that’s fine. Side plank leg raise? Seriously, the worst of a bad lot. I can’t even get into a side plank position, much less do I have the balance or strength to then left a leg up. I ended up just lying on my side and doing the leg lifts, once again feeling like it probably wasn’t doing me any good at all.

Conclusion

Hated almost everything except just lifting dumbbells above my head. The absolutely worst thing Runna has asked of me, by a country mile. Perhaps the idea is that it wants me to look forward to running up hills because it’s nothing like as bad as “demonstrate how weak you are, and how little balance and coordination you have”. It isn’t like with running where I can segeant major myself into maintaining a pace a little bit longer or whatever, I just felt like it was instructing me to do things I simply cannot do. Not, like, can’t do at the moment, but will never be able to do. And what if that is true of the forthcoming running workouts? Pride comes before a fall after all, perhaps I shouldn’t have been pleased with this week’s runs, maybe it’s all going to come crashing down and maybe I should just fucking give up. That, honestly, is how this workout made me feel.

The one tiny, and I mean tiny, reason I haven’t yet removed strength from the plan is because, well, it gives me a reason to write a diary entry. And I like writing.

Lasty: I have to discard the trousers I was wearing. I split them, ironically not while actually performing any of the movements but while stretching to get the gym mat out from under the sofa. For fucks sake.